Thursday, August 6, 2009


It's the dark times for mankind. Criminals and baddies rule the world. People everywhere lives in fear. With no superpower, police is just punching bags for these super-baddies. Where's all the superheroes who had once protected the earth gone? You ask.

Well ...

Batman and Wonder Woman finally tied the knot years ago. They now live happily in Batcave without a care for the world. With two adorable kids - with their super energy and ample spare times, it's a wonder they don't have more - they don't even read the news anymore. One kid's groomed to be a plastic surgeon - Wonder Woman likes to prepare in advance for old age; while the other a vet - hey, Batman do get sick once in a while.

Spiderman? The growth of human population over the last ten years was so fast skyscrappers built as closely together as possible is the only solution. Spiderman can no longer swing through New York without hitting the wall of a skyscrapper George-Of-The-Jungle style. He's so bruised, he retired.

Superman? He's now no more super than a nerdy reporter for a sport magazine - he's lost all his power. With the save-the-earth and going-green campaign, mankind has finally found the alternative for oil, coal and nuclear - and won't you believe it - something green. Yes, something green - Kryptonite! Kryptonite everywhere spells the end of Superman, he is grounded, he no longer has the chance to wear his underpant outside - and that's the biggest blow to him, though he would never admit it to anyone. And due to his lack of physical training (remember how he used to be beaten up by a few normal thugs when he lost his power?), he doesn't even get to be a cop.

And what about Bird Man? Yes, Bird Man. Never heard of him? Well that's exactly why he finds it no fun being a superhero. Doing all the hard work with no recognition - he's so fed up he pulled himself out of the industry.

However, the real bomb that forced all other superheroes into retirement is no more than the financial crisis that started way back in 2008. With no sponsorship to finance their super armours, super bikes, super planes, etc, there's really no way to continue their superhero careers.

So, they're all gone.

But ...

In this dark age of super villains' rule, there's a silver lining, a lone star in a dark night, a camel in the desert, a float in the ocean, a petrol station out of nowhere when you're out of gas - somebody has finally decided to step up and take over the job of protecting the people from injustice again. And that somebody is no other than -

If you LOLROTF looking at her, you'll be most vulnerable in front of her, like so many super villains has found out before. Her weapon being her super weight, obviously, is most deadly when the villains ROTF after LOL upon meeting her. Nothing is more deadly that having her on top of you. Millions of villains have died crushed under her. The world is safe again. People all over the world rejoices - thanks to this super lady ... nobody dare ask what the "F" stands for ...



Ann said...

I better be on my best behavior because I can't help but LOL :)

Buzzing J said...

Don't worry, when in danger, just run as fast as you can, even when you're LOL'ing. Speed, obviously, isn't her forte. And most villains don't realise that.