Monday, August 31, 2009



Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Whole New World

"John, we're going on a camping trip this weekend."


"Because the weather is great, and summer's going to end soon ... Look away from the computer and look at me when I'm talking to you, John."

"Ok, ok ... So, where are we going again when?"

"A CAMPING TRIP! THIS WEEKEND! JOHN! - You spend way too much time in front of the computer, John. What with MSN, IRC, ICQ, IM, PM, MP3, MMORPG, WOW, that what-hoo, what-book, and what-twit, etc, etc. WAY too much time on the computer, John. You never leave the room. NEVER!"

"Alright, alright ... don't shout. We'll go fishing this weekend, Okay?"


"Alright, alright ... I'll pack for the trip."

Thanks to the camping trip, John has found a whole new world in internet, or maybe, he has found internet in a whole new world.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Some Kind Of Logic (Part 2)

The wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise.


Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.


Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.


Your future depends on your dreams - so go to sleep.


There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.


Hard work never killed anybody - but why take the risk.


Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours.


God made relatives; thank god we can choose our friends.


The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So ... why learn.


A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station ... what more can I say.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Why Men Are Never Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth..

The world is your urinal.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $9.50 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on 24th December in 24 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


Friday, August 21, 2009

You Would Have Thought ...

Thomas was the master of the master car thieves. No car security system was unbreakable to him. The most sophisticated anti-hot-wired system, the out-of-this-world key locks, even the ultra secured systems that uses scanning of thumb print or the eye are but child plays to Thomas. The God of Car Thieves - that's how other players called him in the industry. And he earned this accolade by constantly keeping abreast with the advance of car security system. When he's not stealing cars, he's reading.

But as accomplished as Thomas was, his perfect record in this endeavours was broken the day he met this lock ...

If only someone had given the operation manual of this great invention of lock to Jack ...


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Some Kind Of Logic (Part 1)

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.


I was born intelligent - education ruined me.


Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?


If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?


Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.


How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?


Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.


One should love animals. They are so tasty.


Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.


Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

No Hands

Jack was a kid who loved riding bicycle. I still remember the story of how he boasted his riding skill to his mother when he first got the hang of riding a bike.

"Mom, I can ride!" Jack shouted to his mother, who was busy doing work in the garden, when he finally managed to ride his bike. His mother replied encouragingly, "Good boy!"

Five minutes later, "Mom, look. I can ride with one hand!" Jack waved happily to his mother as he rode past her. "Careful, son," his mother waved back.

Another five minutes gone, "Mom, look! No hand!" Jack waved frantically to his mother with both his hands. Jack's mother was starting to worry as she looked at him riding down the street.

Ten minutes passed, Jack's mother saw no sign of Jack. She's frowning.

Finally, Jack appeared from the end of the street riding towards her. To his mother's relief, this time, he had both hands on the bike's handles.

As Jack's approached his mother, he put on a big smile and shouted, "Mom, see. No teeth!"


Fifteen years on, did Jack learn his lesson?

Maybe not ...


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Last Stop

The Station to Hell - after claiming 9 lives, there's really no other name for the station.

9 lives it had claimed. 9 bodies crushed. All suicidal.

When the first fatality happened, nobody thought of it as more than a freak accident - the victim "fell" onto the track and was crushed by an oncoming train. But after the fourth suicide, rumour started to circulate.

The station was built underground through a cemetery. A cemetery for those massacred during an ancient war. The construction was initiated without any ritual performed to appease the dead, despite warning from the old folks in town. The launching of the construction was postponed several times due to heavy rain that poured down non-stop for days. The folks said it's a sign. But the authority chose to ignore. So went the rumour.

After the fifth suicide, again the old folks of the town asked for a ritual to be performed. Again, it was brushed aside by the authority as nonsensical, choosing to believe there's a logical reason behind the spate of suicides. The death continued to rise.

Some said wailing of women and children could be heard when the train approached the station, others said it was the physical effect of a train going through a tunnel. Some said they could feel being wrapped by the dead during the nights; other said it's moisture. As nights approached, some claimed to have seen shadows floating around amid the dim and occasionally blinking lighting, of which some traced it to faulty wiring; others said it's caused by the negative vibes from the dead looking for company. Whatever the reason behind these happenings, the station was starting to be deserted.

After a crushed body was carried out from the station in a body bag for the ninth time, the news had captured the imagination of the nation. Everyone's talking about the mysteriously suicidal trend, and speculating the reason why so many chose to end their lives by jumping onto the track at ...

The Station To Hell


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Let Down Of The Week

Yes, this has got to be the let down of the week -

Formula 1 that had been exciting for a few weeks is now back to its somewhat lack lustre season.

Oh well ...


Monday, August 10, 2009

Can Touch This

With the Community Shield out of the way, English Premier League will finally be off to another exciting season soon. The beautiful games will be back. The man of the men's games will be back. Yes, there's nothing more manly than football, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise ...


Thursday, August 6, 2009


It's the dark times for mankind. Criminals and baddies rule the world. People everywhere lives in fear. With no superpower, police is just punching bags for these super-baddies. Where's all the superheroes who had once protected the earth gone? You ask.

Well ...

Batman and Wonder Woman finally tied the knot years ago. They now live happily in Batcave without a care for the world. With two adorable kids - with their super energy and ample spare times, it's a wonder they don't have more - they don't even read the news anymore. One kid's groomed to be a plastic surgeon - Wonder Woman likes to prepare in advance for old age; while the other a vet - hey, Batman do get sick once in a while.

Spiderman? The growth of human population over the last ten years was so fast skyscrappers built as closely together as possible is the only solution. Spiderman can no longer swing through New York without hitting the wall of a skyscrapper George-Of-The-Jungle style. He's so bruised, he retired.

Superman? He's now no more super than a nerdy reporter for a sport magazine - he's lost all his power. With the save-the-earth and going-green campaign, mankind has finally found the alternative for oil, coal and nuclear - and won't you believe it - something green. Yes, something green - Kryptonite! Kryptonite everywhere spells the end of Superman, he is grounded, he no longer has the chance to wear his underpant outside - and that's the biggest blow to him, though he would never admit it to anyone. And due to his lack of physical training (remember how he used to be beaten up by a few normal thugs when he lost his power?), he doesn't even get to be a cop.

And what about Bird Man? Yes, Bird Man. Never heard of him? Well that's exactly why he finds it no fun being a superhero. Doing all the hard work with no recognition - he's so fed up he pulled himself out of the industry.

However, the real bomb that forced all other superheroes into retirement is no more than the financial crisis that started way back in 2008. With no sponsorship to finance their super armours, super bikes, super planes, etc, there's really no way to continue their superhero careers.

So, they're all gone.

But ...

In this dark age of super villains' rule, there's a silver lining, a lone star in a dark night, a camel in the desert, a float in the ocean, a petrol station out of nowhere when you're out of gas - somebody has finally decided to step up and take over the job of protecting the people from injustice again. And that somebody is no other than -

If you LOLROTF looking at her, you'll be most vulnerable in front of her, like so many super villains has found out before. Her weapon being her super weight, obviously, is most deadly when the villains ROTF after LOL upon meeting her. Nothing is more deadly that having her on top of you. Millions of villains have died crushed under her. The world is safe again. People all over the world rejoices - thanks to this super lady ... nobody dare ask what the "F" stands for ...


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Not Today

Ed is the smartest canine in the police force - one sniff from him, no case would be unsolved, no criminal could remain elusive, and no loot would remain hidden. The dog with the best sniffing nose, that's Ed.

Over the years he has earned the highest accolade a canine could possibly earn in the police force. He is famous. So famous, the town has a public holiday in honour of him. Ed's Day, they call it.

Unfortunately, on one fateful day, when Ed was called to duty, he met his match. On that day, his perfect record was shattered. The case is still a case, and the fugitive is still a fugitive. That day, Ed was defeated - by an underpant.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Batman And Robin

Robin: I'm bored!

Batman: What's wrong, old boy?

Robin: I'm sick and tired of fighting Joker, Penguin, Scarecrow, Two-Faced and others in 2D - they are so plain. Sigh ...

Batman: Fear not, my friend. Follow me.

And Robin follows Batman, since they can't fly - not to be misled by their names, walking towards the tallest building in town. When Batman stops and gestures towards the top of the building, Robin goes, "Holy Crap ..."

*Note: The build-up to the picture was deliberately written flat and plain to avoid taking away anything from the brilliance of the street art.