Another Tough One

If you are the planner, how do you get out of this?







Just move along without hitting the pole.



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Moral Lesson For Today

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.


Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

*****

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less

NOW .......

Enough of that crap .


The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.



MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.


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One And Only

Can you blame her?

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Size Doesn't Matter

Neither does length, nor width.

Skill does.

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Be Quiet

Being the only male representative sitting in a table where he is outnumbered ten to one and when the ten ladies are talking emotionally about how a husband left his wife for another woman, there is one image that keeps flashing in his mind and stops him from offering his opinion ...












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What's In A Name?

Of all places ...

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Of Marriage And Some Wise Words?

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

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Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

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Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

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Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

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James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

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Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

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Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

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Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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And yes. I'm also very sure all the "Anonymous"'s are from the male species too.



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